Blog 1

Hi,

It is great to read all your stories and learn about you. I found myself really relating to the last lecture on characteristics of a strong family. I am the youngest of 6 kids. My parents divorced when I was in 6th grade so our family experienced a big change. However, we all remained very close. A couple years ago my brother and his wife had a baby girl with a heart condition. She was up at childrens hospital in Omaha for 6 weeks. She didn't end up making it, but this horrible event actually brought my family even closer together. We all live in Lincoln, but every night all of us kids and my Mom and Dad would be up at Children's Hospital in the waiting room. There was nothing we could do or say, but just physically being there showed my brother that we were here for him and here for each other as well. I think that falls into both Affection and Time Together.

I look forward to learning more about all of you:-)

-Julie

Hello! =]

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's blogs and learning more about each one of you individually. Quick family background from me: My parents are still happily married and have been together since they were 17 & 16. It amazes me to see them still so much in love and growing everyday. Yes, they have had their difficulties in their marriage but they have everlasting love for each other and find a way to make things work. They are my role models for what I want in a relationship, which at times seems impossible to find.
I have a older sister who lives in Austin, Texas. My sister and I are COMPLETE opposites. We don't have the best relationship but I am forever trying, partly to please my mom. My sister is very sensitive and takes everything seriously. She is very emotional and always down. Me on the other hand can be sensitive but I am one to just let things slide off my back if its not worth the trouble.
As we were talking about strong family characteristics it made me think about my family. 2 major characteristics that stuck out where affection/appreciation and positive communication. My mother is the most affectionate person and she lets my dad, sister and I know that she loves us and is proud of us. It's great to know that you are loved and always have someone on your team. My dad is not so affectionate and like another class member asked about changing it when its been that way for 45 years...That screamed my dad. His parents were never affectionate with each other or his siblings and him. I think my mom has changed that a little bit but he still has trouble at times. When it comes to communication, I go to my mom for everything. My mom knows more about me then some of my best friends. I know my mom tells my dad a lot, and that is ok with me. My sister is one to always put me down, I think that is why it is so hard for us to get along. She does it in a humorous way but its still not funny to me. She is always picking out the littlest things to bring me down about and it really isn't funny. Although my dad isn't affectionate he is definetly the funny man in the family. He is always making us laugh and that is how he shows he cares.
I can't wait to dig deeper into other topics and learn more about myself and my family. This course will be a great asset.

Okay, so the last post has inspired me to lay out a quick family story of my own. When I was about 5, my parents decided to get divorced. Big change. At 7, my mother passed away from cancer, making my dad a widower and leaving 3 kids motherless. Even bigger change. Like we talked about in class with Mrs. Doubtfire, my mother had received most of the custody in courts. Through some odd court ruling, we were sent to live with my aunt and uncle (on my mother's side) when she passed away. My father wanted custody, but he couldn't get it. He spent years and years trying to get us kids back and he finally had a breakthrough: marriage to his high school sweetheart. She helped him a lot and he finally got us back. Then we moved away and I was at the age to move away to college. I picked Nebraska because my step-mom's family is here and my parents recently followed me here. So basically, I my life has been a whirlwind so far and I want to figure out why my siblings and I all turned out so differently.
I know all about dysfunction. I want to know more about strong families and how to be in one. At the moment, my little brother is a delinquent and my older brother never talks too me. This class, in part, has inspired me to reach out to my parents a little more lately. It makes me realize the type of bonds that we kids forged when we were little. I think that my brother forged a secure bond with my mom, but when she passed away, it was lost. He has been affected by that so that it is hard for him to bond again. I forged a secure bond with my dad and, for the most part, I think that I bond well with people. The separation was hard, but I think that I am stronger for it. On the other hand, my little brother has deep issues, like being manipulative, lying, and being apathetic. I think that he definitely has an ambivalent/anxious bonding style. I think that we all need to work on it.
So, overall, I hope to learn more about my family but I also want to get involved in this type of thing as a career. I find it utterly fascinating and of course, for selfish reasons, I want to learn more about myself and my family so that I can try to make it even stronger. This class is going to be invaluable.

Blog 1

Hey Guys!

So I am really enjoying this class and finding that all the information that we are going over is very interesting. I really enjoyed last class lecture espeically when we talked about the different stages, the one that really made me think about myself in creating a situation that occured in my life was the ability to cope with stress and also the appreciation and affection. The reason why I thought that these two really realted to me was because at the time I was 2 I lived with my aunt and uncle on and off throughout my life and then finally when i was 6 I moved with them permanently. The challenge that we face is that there were times where i wanted to know why my biological dad didnt want me to live with him and my step mom and my siblings anymore, so my aunt and uncle had to sit down with me and tell what happened and that they are here for me, and it also hurt my aunt because my biological dad was her brother, so she lost her brother too. They finally adopted me when i was in 7th grade and we still have some times where we just need to talk about it because we are still hurt from it since he doesnt talk to us anymore, and we think that he should be because everything that his sister did for him and what not. So as a family we show these two categories or characteristics and support eachother as a family, one thing that we always do after we talk about it is give a group hug, it is something that we ahve always done since I moved with them. The last lecture was probably one of my favorites because you can relate to each one.

Family Strengths!

Hey everyone!

I'm so enjoying this class and the topics we have been covering.  I was very interested in the family strengths topic.  I think that its amazing to learn what makes a family successful or not so successful.  I've seen it in my own life.  I have a wonderful family life.  I have two incredible parents who genuinely love each other and who dedicate all their free time to my brother and me. I have a great relationship with my brother and my dad and my mother and I are best friends. We just love being together. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about and others are think "OMG what the heck". However, my extended family is another story.  My aunt and uncle, who I love to death, had a bit of trouble with the whole raising a family thing.  They have 3 grown kids and these kids did not exactly turn out well, which is a horrible thing to say about my own cousins, but its the truth.  As they were growing up, their was no discipline or real rules in the home.  This completely differs from the way my brother and I have been raised.  Their have always been rules in our home, some clearly defined, and some just expected.  My brother and I have a completely different outlook and understanding about life.  Two different circumstances lead to two different kinds of family.  My cousins were always very loved so they are very loving people, but their is a lot wrong with the entire picture.  Every family is different, but the same concepts work in most families.  A family is a precious thing and it needs certain things to keep it healthy and thriving.  What a cool idea. This class has really got me thinking way outside the box about things I had never really spent a lot of time thinking about before :)  

1/28/09 ACOP - blog 1: Attachment

I really enjoyed learning about attachment styles in class. I’ve covered that topic in many classes before but I think it is so important and was eager to learn about them in more depth. I am currently in the CYAF Infancy class and for our lab we go by ourselves to a child care center once a week and work with a specific group of children. I like being able to take what we’ve learned in class and apply it to these children. For instance, I watched the reaction of the babies when there mothers dropped them off at day care. One little girl seemed distressed at first, but quickly got over it and went on to explore happily. She was showing secure attachment. I also thought it was valuable learning about how people often turn out in life if they are not securely attached as infants. After hearing the description of how ambivalent/anxious adults turn out, (manipulative, clingy, but will push people away because they think that they themselves are going to get pushed away) I realized that an old friend was probably and ambivalent/anxious infant. That constant love and support found in securely attached relationships is truly so vital.
-acop

Hey,
I find this class turely enteresting evne though I have only sat back and listened to what others have contributed. Family strength is a great thing to have. While sitting in class I kept trying to figure out what type my family was or the kind of person I thought I was. I did not come to a conclusion of what type I am, since they all sounded a little like me. My family has not been as close knit as most, so at times it may seem awkard to hear how other families act. I didn't really have much interaction with my family while growing up since they are both in the medical field and work long hours and were always on call. However, I enlisted in the Navy a few years ago and for some reason they started writing me while at boot camp and it hasn't stopped since. I suppose it took being deployed for a year to finally realize that they were always going to be there for me even though they did not show it in an intimate way. I hope to be there more for my children and show more intamicy.

1/27 Discussion on Family Strengths

Hey guys,

Similar to rbro's blog i really really enjoyed the discussion on family strengths and how they relate to each other. The different ways that families relate to each other really made me think about how i relate to family, particularly how my mother and i relate to each other. Being a freshman i was way to excited to get out of the house. My mom would always ask me how many times a day i was going to call her and she would tell me that i should call her every single day. I just looked at her in disbelief. But it turns out, that i end up calling my mom about the stupidest things ever. I never thought this would happen, but i end up calling her more then she calls me. 

The way families relate to each other is amazing. I think I'm going to be the mom that calls their son or daughter that is off at college three times a day.

Talk to you guys later!

bcam

1/27 Discussion on Family strenths

Hi Guys, I am the old gal that sits up front. I truly enjoyed listening to the discussion in class on the various ways families relate. My husband is a longtime Marriage and Family therapist and when we were dating 5 years ago he got to experience the full effect of the Corey clan for Thanksgiving. We are a loud and laughing bunch (I am the oldest of 6) with assorted spouses, numerous children, and family friends that join us for family functions. Poor man was a little overwhelmed to say the least. On the way home, he was very quiet and I asked him what was going on? He said to me that in his line of work he did not get to see families like this very often. What do you mean? You, have a functional family. Evidently that was great, because he asked me to marry him that Christmas. So I know what a functional family is, but now I need to learn what is dysfunctional and how to help. When I grow up, I want to be a Marriage and Family therapist also.

Currently, I am doing a 15 week internship at the People City Mission. It is an eye opening experience, seeing families stressed to the max. Oftentimes, we take shelter, food, and other resources for granted. Not so for these people. I overheard one woman on the Shelter side say to another who was in a transitional living situation (a small apartment in a separate building on mission ground) just how lucky she was. Thought provoking! Talk to you later. rbro