Domestic Violence

The topic we discussed, domestic violence, was so upsetting. I have never encountered this in my family or in any of my friends families so it was very eye opening for me. Its a horrible thought really. So many bad things happen in the world on a regular basis that you don't even think about. I was in intregued to realize that many women abuse their husbands.  I had never thought about a woman hurting a man.  I guess I'm old fashioned and living in the past.

I am amazed that battered women try to leave their husbands numerous times before succeeding.  How horrible it must feel to be trapped.

It was good to realize that their is hope for everyone and that everyone is capable of healing :)

Adoption

I'm really glad that we had the discussion on adoption on last Thursday. I have thought about adopting if I ever get married. It's important to remember that even though adoption is a beautiful gift, it's still a sacrifice and things don't always go as smoothly as we want them to. There is a lot of red tape to deal with and even after that process is taken care of there are things that could cause tension. The child could have a hard time adjusting, and people outside of the family could be judgmental.
I have heard various viewpoints on trans racial adoptions and it is disappointing to me that some people aren't accepting of it. I understand that a child who is adopted by a family of a different ethnicity may struggle with developing their identity, but if they live in a supportive family it shouldn't have to be a destructive issue. Dr. Hollist and his family seem to be very open to helping their son discover his native culture while still fitting in to the culture of his adoptive family. Like we said in class, the majority of adopted children are going to be curious about their origins. If they are given a chance to explore, this will give them a chance to grow instead of feeling split between two realities.
Adoption is a very serious issue and it may not be for everyone. If a family is planning on adopting, they should make sure that everyone in the family is okay with this decision. They should be prepared to improvise and make adjustments when things don't go as planned. Going along with the content and process theme, it doesn't matter what ethnicity a child is or if they have special needs. The way the family acts to form a welcoming and nurturing environment is what determines the success of an adoption.

Hitting Home

It' s incredible to think that people like Chris help people every day. It's also incredible to think that they can maintain a positive outlook on life and keep going. I admire people like him for doing what they do. Chris' presentation made me consider wanting to help out, but I'm not sure if I could stomach some of the things that he has seen. I'm looking forward to possibly helping struggling teens, more like Dr. Hollist, but there is this whole other world out there than just the ones that come into an office. The presentation definitely opened up my eyes to a lot more things, including drugs and homelessness within Lincoln. It's easy to live your life with your eyes closed, and the saying "ignorance is bliss" isn't out there for nothing, but not knowing that those things are out there is worse than knowing. And not trying to make the world a better place for someone is a waste. So, thanks Chris, your talk was much appreciated.

The face of the homeless

In this last semester I participated in an internship at the People's City Mission. If someone had asked me the question "What words would you use to describe a homeless person?" before my experience there, I would have naively used words like bum, lazy, and undisciplined. My understanding of homeless has changed greatly. There are a few who may be homeless by choice, but the majority are homeless by circumstance or disease (physical or mental).

At the mission I found people of all levels of intelligence and schooling. One fellow had master degrees in different forms of engineering. He had lived the American Dream, but alcohol and depression had caused him to loose everything including his family. But now the Mission is his family, and he finds joy in giving back by preparing meals for all those there. The days he cooks people know it will be great food, he just has the nack for it.

There are many women and children at the mission, and yes there are also a few people that the world would label crazy, but they are trying. I am taking and abnormal psychology class this semester and have found people that would fit under the headings of having depression, mood disorders, borderline personalities, and even a few that are paranoid and possibly even schizophrenic. As long as they behave themselves and do no harm to others and/or themselves, they may stay. But if things get out of hand, they are passed on to more intensive care facilities.

There was one little lady there whose energy and love of serving others was inspirational. This gal and her son had in the past been residence here at the mission. Now she was a staff member who was awesome at dealing with the clientele. She told me that she was working on her GED and eventually wants to go on to college if she possibly can, so that she could give back even more possible as a caseworker there.

Homeless does not look the same to me now. This experience has truly changed me too, because I will be back there volunteering, it is in my blood now. I want to help others succeed against the demons that have put them here. I think that this will definitely help me see people differently in my practice and allow me to come along side them, not preach to them do this because I say so.

Adoption

I think the class on adoption was very interesting. 2 of my best friends are adopted, so I am very interested in learning about it. I know it takes a lot for people to adopt and I think it is a very selfless act. Any one who has adopted I have the most respect for because I know it isn't that easy. Not only is the process hard, but there is that part that children think about their biological parents, which would be very hard for the adopted parents. One of my friends was adopted from Korea and the other from Omaha. I know my friend from Korea doesn't really have a want to meet her biological parents. From what she knows her mother was a prostitute and she doesn't know who her dad is. She knows that if she wouldnt have been adopted she probably would have ended up on the streets, just like her mom. I feel like at times she is ashamed of being Asian, especially when she is around other Asians. She doesn't know much about their culture and I think she wishes she did at times. I feel like she thinks she is judged by other asians because she doesn't speak her native language and is totally americanized. My other friend from Omaha does have a want to meet her parents, but not until the time is right. Her mother was 14 when she had her, and she was not with the father. She thinks its wierd to think that any time she is in Omaha, she could be walking past her parents or have a sibling. I think she wants to meet them just to learn more about her medical history and as discussed in class, to see which parent she looks like. Over all I think the facts about adopted children were suprising. Esp that 94 percent of children would like to see which parent they look like. That is a huge percent, and goes to show adopted children do want to see where they came from.

The presentation from Chris on Tuesday was very enjoying. I liked how he talked to us as real people and that he had tons of energy to throw out. I had no idea that things like people living under bridges year around, teenage prostitution, and drug addiction was this bad even here in Lincoln. I look up to him for being able to lend these kids a helping hand. Thinking about what he said about people try not to be racist or anything of that nature, then why do we look past the homeless and think they should go and find a job? I can no find a good explanation myself. Anyways, the presentation kept me entertained from start to finish.

Adoption

Adoption is such a great thing that I wish more people did. I wish the adoption agencies made it a little easier for couples to adopt, especially the really good couples that can't have children. I think it was a great thing what Dr. Hollist and his family did. I don't know if I would have the courage to do that. However, I am glad that there are people still out there that want to adopt.

Cedars

I really enjoyed Chris Webster from Cedars, he was very enthusiatic and you could tell that he really enjoyed and had a passion for what he does. It is shocking to know that there are these things going around in the Lincoln area because you really do not see it very much, especially with teens. His presentation was very powerful and very insightful.

Blog 12 - Cedars Street Outreach

Today’s class by the man from Cedars Street Outreach program was really powerful. I could tell he was very passionate about his work. One statistic that I found interesting was that 77% of adolescents that run away are girls. I would have never guessed that. I never knew anyone who ran away but I had a pretty sheltered childhood. Along those lines, I was never exposed to/pressured into using drugs. I feel that people’s environments play a very large role in what obstacles they will face. It is important for parents and teachers to be aware of the risky behaviors out there and to work their hardest to keep kids from falling into those destructive habits.

Adoption

I think its great when families adopt children that need a home. I think that i an amazing thing to do because you give that child some hope. They will be able to have a good future. i hope some day that i will be able to adopt a child. When a homeless child finds a home, that gives them some kind of hope in life. There is someone out their that wants you. I hope i will be able to do that someday.

Adopted Children

Last weeks lecture on adoption really surprised me in many ways. I was interesting to learn about how adopted parents are interested in meeting/finding their adopted child later on in life. I find this odd because I feel when someone gives a child up for adoption is it never an easy decision. In my other classes, it has been taught that mothers become a parent when they become pregnant and men when the child is born.

I feel that meeting your adopted child later on in life with cause, for the former parent, stress and bring up a difficult or challenging past. I don't understand or see a parent after meeting their former child, would never leave their life again or would cause more stress and begin to complicate things of both sets of parents.

But even with all of these risks and emotions, I can completely understand why or how someone would be curious and feel like they need to know where they came form. I feel like when I have a weird personality trait or even love an odd food, i feel more normal knowing it came from one of my parents. It was also be almost difficult to see how families look a like and not know who you look like.

It seems to be when an adopted child wants to know which parent they look like, they are looking for their inherited genes and quirks more than a parental connection. If i did not know why i was given up for adoption, i think i would prefer to just see my birth parents then to actually know the reason i was given up for adoption.

Most of all I would like to add that I fin adoption to be one of the greatest inventions, nothing can replace unconditional love and i believe everyone needs that and is possible through adoption.

The Meaning of Money

The discussion on the "meaning of money" that we had in class was what interested me the most. It's interesting to be able to see what the term "money" means to different people. I think that's it's very useful to know. It helped me relate to my boyfriend a little more, because his meaning is entertainment. It made me see that I see it more as control. Also, the fact that Dr. Hollist said that two people who view it the same way won't balance each other out, so it made me feel more reassured. I think that it is easy to perceive how people see it's meaning by knowing their personality. Once you know them, it actually becomes obvious. Their personalities match how they view money. I think that this talk will help me to deal with situations that come up later, not only because of the current economic times, but because money always plays a role in relationships.

Communication is the key.

Before Jim and I got married, we tried to address the things that we found were problematic in our former marriages: lack of communication and how we looked at money were two of the big things for us. I see money as a form of security, but not to the point that I used to in the past. Because of the conversations that Jim and I have had, I have learned to put more faith in the Lord providing what we need (contrary to what we want), because he has always come through for us in that way. Watching the stock market strip our retirement funds has been hard. With all the medical bills that we have had over the last 2 years, we do not have a safety net. We try to be careful with our money. Jim has a private practice and with that he has to spend money to make money: equiptment needing replaced, mass mailings, and advertising costs. We are making it payday to payday like so many people, but there are so many more who are not making it. I get to see this at the Mission where I am a volunter intern. What I am really excited about it how Jim and I pull together on everything that comes up, so to me it is the communication aspect that is the most important part of our relationship that makes everything else work. When that improves, anything else becomes a possibility. As a therapist, teaching people how to communicate with each other and understand where that other person is coming from will be the most important and valuable comodity I can give to my patients/clients.

Money

I think that it is important to talk with your partner about their values with money, because it could be completely different than how you feel. By knowing this information, you two as a couple would be able to compromise on how things do and dont get spent. As well as it not being like a big suprise on what the other person bought, when they come home. With my parents, my mom likes to spend and my dad is the big saver. My mom will go and buy little things but anything that deals with a big purchase they go together and make sure it is what they need such as a new dishwasher, stove, flooring, etc. I think this is a good strategy to use for any relationship.

Socioeconomic Diversity

Money is something that people always fight about. My fiance and I are going through marriage counseling right now and our priest always talks to us about how many couples get divorced over money. It is so good to find out how the other person feels about money and how they spend it. Being in debt now days is so common and so many people are in it, it's hard to find someone that isn't. Knowing how to handle money is a gift that many people do not have. It is important to save and spend money in an adult way.

Value of Money

I never liked technical terminology such as socioeconomic diversity vs. socioeconomic status, but I thought the points that were raised really made sense. A person's financial situation is not typically stable. You may start out making minimum wage and then move up to a higher position, or on the flip side you could lose your job altogether. The discussion on cost of living is an important thing to consider as well. A person with a high SES in one place might not be considered so well off if they move to a different city.
Living in general costs more than it did a generation or two ago. I was just talking to one of my friends who was excited about graduating and getting a job in the future. She even commented that she couldn't believe that people could have financial problems while making $20,000 a year. I don't blame her for being excited, because it's a lot more than any of us are making now, but after we talked about the cost of living it isn't surprising that money can be used up so quickly. Money is used up even faster once a person has to support a family with children.
As always, content and process come into play when dealing with financial issues in a family. The same issues can cause problems whether a family is wealthy or poor. A family needs to find a balance between the ways they utilize their money. It's important so save enough money so you can have some control over your life, but it's not terrible to spend a little for enjoyment. A couple needs to discuss how they plan to manage their money and what they will do if finances become a problem.

Blog 11- SED 4/22/09

The lecture on Tuesday about Socioeconomic Diversity reminded me of the lecture on engagement. I think the section about financial management strengths for happy couples ties in well with what we learned about discussing things before you are married. It is important to figure out how your partner sees money so you are not shocked by it down the road. Also, people should take a good look at how their partner spends money now, because it is not likely to change in the future. For example, my fiancé likes to spend some of his money on his car. He’s likely to be the same way in the future. When I spend money I like to buy clothes. We know these things about each other and agree they are good things as long as we can still afford the things we need. After this class, I realized maybe we should talk about how much money we think should be saved, as we might differ on how much security money is necessary.

Socioeconomic Diversity

I thought learning about socioeconomic diversity was very important, especially in a time like this. When talking about the meaning of money, everyone has a different view. I think this is very important and can be the cause of some stress in families. I know in my family my dad is all about security. He tries only to get the items that are necessary and puts lots into savings and investments. My mom uses money more for enjoyment. She is not one to go out and buy tons of new items or go on huge trips, but she likes to travel and be able to use the money when it is necessary. I think she knows security is huge as well though, becuase she doesn't need the finer things in life. My parents are struggling greatly with this current market. They bought a new home 5 months ago, before selling the old one. They haven't been able to sell the old one or even have any takers. At 6 months, they will have to pay 2 mortgages which will be a huge hard ship for them. So we all have our fingers crossed that it sells SOON!!!

After viewing class on Tuesday, it has made me think about how my families situation has been. My family has never had to worry about money much and I have never needed to get a job yet. My parents still do not say much about money, if they have enough or very little. It doesn't seem to effect my life much. I know they are well off though since my father is a medical rep. and my mother works for the ER. I do think they have cut back on some unnecessary spending. The worry about money is something everyone needs to be concerned about. How families are able to get daily things and pay bills is extremly important. A family that is not able to have these necessities, will struggle more in life. this does not mean they still cannot be a happy loving family. However, families will fight or be unhappy over the way one may be spending the money and on what. With me my family always ask indepth questions if something cost a great amount of money. they want to know it will last and I will treat it with respect. they do not like to throw their money away.

Socioeconomic Diversity

I thought today's lecture on economics in families was extremely important. Money is such an important aspect of life no matter who you are. I always felt as if people saw money differently from one another and its interesting to see and think of how people i know would fit into those four categories listed.

I feel as if I see money as a kind of control. My father used as enjoyment and my mother as a form of security. These battling views of spend fast and save forever collide when it comes to their parenting because they are not joint on this matter. I see money as the one thing holding me back or limiting me.

I feel as if I have to earn enough money to do everything I want and take care of my basic needs at the same time. It wasn't until I took on these responsibilities in the last years, that I've realized how much money my life cost. I feel as if once I am able to pay for everythin I want, I then will have control over my own life.

I also feel as if it will be helpful to know these different categories so I can better see where someone else is coming from when it comes to money. I think its interesting that although the context of fights dealing with money are different from other conflicts, it is still not about the amount of money you have. I feel like people forget that when celebrities with lots of money break up and are surprised don't realize that money doesn't make any difference (most of the time).

Socioeconomic Diversity

Today's lecture on socioeconomic diversity was really interesting to me. It was really interesting to think about it in terms of how families are affected. Now it's obvious that everyone knows that today's economic situation has affected many people. But it was interesting to see how much if affected people in my class. During discussion one person said that they had lost a years worth of tuition. That's a lot of money, in state or out of state. That adds so much stress to any person who has to go through it. In class i was thinking about how my family was affected by the current situation and i couldn't think of anything for the life of me. Finally it hit me. I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier but my family was really affected by it. My dad has been a stay at home dad since i was a little girl. He retired from the air force at an early age to stay home and take care of me and my little brother. My dad now has a full time job and isn't home as much as he used to be. He used to work nights so it wasn't so different from the way things were before. He was home all day and then would work 5-11 p.m. but now he goes to work at 6 a.m. an hour and a half before my mom goes to work. So he isn't home at all during the day. My brother is an 8th grader right now and i can't imagine how weird it is for him to not have dad home during the day like he used to be. My brother is also very active in sports and plays basketball for his middle school. That was one ting we were all worried about. That my dad wouldn't be able to come to any of his basketball games like he used to. He still misses some of them, but he makes the majority of them. 

Even though we had a huge change in our family, we still make it work and when he's not working we just make the most of the time we have with him. Honestly i think it's made us a stronger family which is really amazing. We drew the positive from the negative.

bCam

Domestic Violence

I think it is very sad when anyone has to experence domestic violence in a relationship. I know a few girls that have been abused during an relationship and it isn't healthy. No one should put up with someone telling them what to do, and who they can and can't hangout with. Some girls who are getting abused don't do anything about it and its sad. Some grils are scared to be alone and it shouldn't be like that. I hope that whoever is getting abused in their relationship gets out and know that their better then that. There is hope in any situation.

Well since class was cancelled on Tuesday, I had an interesting time doing the family interview project. It was neat to see how other families worked beside my own. Things seemed completely strange to me, but that family made it work well for them.

We didn't have class on Tuesday so I am blogging about the paper. It was a really interesting process. I interviewed my friends whom I thought I knew pretty much everything about. Doing the interview really enlightened me and the couple I interviewed. They are a very happy couple but they went through a rough period at the beginning of their marriage. It all worked out but they didn't really know how the other person was feeling in that time until they talked about it in the interview. It made me really like talking to people in a professional setting like that.

Handling Teens

On the decision on Teenagers was good. It is hard to handle teens from stories that I have heard with some of my friends on what they did growing up as teens and it was completely different than what i was like. When I was going through my teenager years, I pretty much listened to everything that my parents said. I was always in by midnight or earlier on the weekends unless I had a good reason to be out later, they felt that nothing good happens after midnight. I never went to parties that had drinking either because i was too scared that i would get in trouble. There was a couple of times that I would challenge my parents such as me wanting to get my belly button pierced when i was 16 and they said no, so then when i was 18 and not living with them i got that pierced, which now i do not have anymore. I would also have boys come over to the house when they were not home, since i was friends with more guys than i was girls. I didnt see anything wrong with it, since we were just hanging out like i would with my girl friends. But now i can see where they were coming from.

Teenagers

I really liked the topic of parenting teens.  What a job, right?!  I think that parenting a teenager might be one of the hardest jobs in the world.  As a teenager, I was pretty easy to deal with. Sure, I had my share of moments that I acted "crazy" and "overdramatic", but overall, my parents and I got along very well and have always maintained a close relationship.  My cousins, on the other hand, were little devils.  My aunt and uncle had to deal with everything..... alcohol, drugs, bad behavior. You name it...my cousins did it.  My aunt and uncle were very against discipline and their kids did whatever they wanted as a result.  My parents however were big on discipline and always made sure I was behaving.  Parents set the tone.  I hope that when I have children, that I will be able to set the tone as well as my parents did!

Adolescence-yuck

No one could pay me enough money to go back to those days of being an adolescent. Being the eldest in my family, I was second cook and bottle wash. I was 13 when the baby sister was born and I picked up a lot of responsibilities at that time because my mother needed my help taking care of other 2 brother and 2 sisters that I had. I think because I was not as care free as a lot of the kids in my class I ended up feeling older and better able to relate to the adults in my world than other kids my age. I felt like I was on the outer fringes looking in. I did not feel like I had much in common with them. I was able to get alone with others, but given a choice of reading a good book rather than playing follow the leader of the cliche, I would opt for the book. Part of my problem was that I was somewhat shy and very awkward because I was much more physically mature also. In groups, I usally look for an underdog that looked more uncomfortable than I did helped them and myself at least feel like we were part of something. It was nice to know that others were feeling awkward trying to find their spot too. I think that often time we don't outgrow those feelings even as an adult. I think being able to put myself in someone elses shoes will definitely help in my future roll as a counselor.

Belonging

The sense that one needs to belong is probably one of the biggest issues that adolescents deal with. It was interesting to me that there really is no explanation of why children at this age have such a strong desire to belong to a group. I had never thought about this before, but I can't think of a solid reason either. Abstract thinking and the concept of being included or excluded is the most logical explanation. If everyone else appears to belong to a group, then a child who is left out will feel like something is missing from their life. Still, it is hard to say why adolescents (or people of any age for that matter) feel the need to be just like their peers.
I was hardly ever included in social cliques in grade school, so I know what it is like to crave that sense of belonging. I have never liked to talk a lot so I didn't have much of a way to socialize. I had friends, but I never quite felt like I was part of the in-group. I was uncomfortable being around large groups of people, because I wasn't good at approaching people unless we were close friends. I think that my self-concept played a huge part in this. I wasn't sure if people really liked me or if they were just being nice, so I would simply avoid them. I've become more social, but I still prefer to be around a few select friends whom I know I can trust to not judge me.
A good sense of belonging as an adolescent can affect a person throughout their life. It is important that parents and teachers remain aware of how children are being treated. It is a terrible feeling to be unsure of yourself as a child, and it can affect the way you interact with other people. Social exclusion can't be avoided completely, but I think that children can learn to respect everyone if they're taught early on. Children learn by examples, and if they see older children and adults excluding others, then they will most likely do the same.

Adolscents

I really enjoyed the last lecture because it made me feel so normal. During my middle school years I was very interested in my friends and almost loathed any family time. This really hurt my parents at the time, but i didnt understand why. they always would tell me how rude or pleasant i was, so i didnt understand why they would want me around so much. During most of my childhood i was a latchkey kid so the independence struggle was always a big issue for me. When i was young i was very protective of myself and made a lot of my own decisions. It was hard when I was 13 to get boundaries when I felt I was taking care of myself along. It took me until now to realize I couldn't think outside myself and until now i thought i was abnormal. Its comforting to know all parents and young people go through some version of this.

Adolescence

The lecture last Thursday was really good on adolescence. I remember when I was going through that stage in life and it was hard for me. I remember I just wanted to feel like I belonged and would do almost anything to feel that way. If someone in our group picked on someone else to to feel cool or try to belong more they would and it is terrible that's what kids have to do. I wish I could go back and change some of the things I did but I am sure a lot of people feel that way. In the and I am glad I experienced what I did because it shaped the person I am today. Thank god adolescence is OVER!

blog 10 - Adolescence 4/14/09

The lecture on parenting adolescents was a good reminder of what it was to be like that age. It’s hard to remember because it was so long ago but as we discussed adolescence in class I was reminded of how I acted the same way. Even though we didn’t have texting, I remember getting in fights with my parents for talking on the phone with my friends for too long and writing long notes to each other in class. Also, I remember how crucial it was at that age to have a group to belong to. People would do anything to belong to a group even if it meant compromising their morals (for instance, picking on or ignoring another student if the others in the group were doing the same). This is one thing I think teachers should be very aware of and should actively try to prevent. I’ve seen many kids hurt through adolescent exclusion. Finally, I also identified with the idea that adolescents waffle back and forth on what they want to do. I remember thinking I was going to be an archeologist, then a psychologist, and for a time even a pop star. =) Adolescence is definitely an interesting time.

Parent/ child interaction is very important in life. Parent need to be able to know their children and see exactly how they react to different situations. Kids will try to test their parents and see what they can get away with. I feel that if they want to do something then we need to access the risk and if it is not too high, then let them do it and see what happens. Kids will learn from what they have done and we can not teach them everything. Also, children playing is a essential part of life. Here kids are able to interact with other children and run free. It is a time for a kid to be a kid and have fun in life.

child interaction

I really liked talking about child interactions within the family and all of the different stories from his children to the one with the boy that went to church in his pants. I think that it is really important to give children choices rather than saying this is what you are doing whehter you like it not with giving them choices they are able to make decisions. I remember a tv show called yes dear and they were having troubles with their son wearing handy down clothes. The dad said to his son that if he does not get dressed then he will just go to the store in his underwear and well the son went into the store in his underwear, this just shows that children have a mind of their own and they need to use that in order to see what decision are right. Child interaction in the family is important because your children are learning from you through either observing or what you say to them.

Families with Young Children

Tuesday's lecture was definitely one of my favorites so far. I loved talking about parent and child interactions and the importance of play in that relationship.  I especially liked the story Dr. Hollist told about the little boy who wore his pants backward to church. 

Kids have a mind of their own and parents have to know when to give in.  I have been babysitting for almost 8 years.  I have watched children of all ages and I have seen a lot of different relationships between parents and children.  These styles really determine how a child turns out AKA what their personality and values consist of.  My parent's parenting style was strict yet laid back.  They were always involved in my life and so they always knew what was going on with me in all aspects of life. I knew what was expected and as long as I did what was expected I had a great deal of freedom.  I hope to be the same kind of parent.

  I liked discussing discipline as well. Discipline while important can backfire if it is not used correctly.  I think the five steps we discussed in class can really help in a situation in order to maintain composure and dicipline well...benefitting you and the child.  As a babysitter, I have had to deal with situations of behavior management.  I once babysat for a family of 5 boys.  Crazy, right?  They were so hyper and insane that I had to be creative when I used dicipline. Now that I have learned the 5 new steps I hope to incorperate them into my everyday life with the children I babysit for.

Take the Time to Play

Play is extemely important for children because it helps them to develop their knowledge and interact with others. I don't know any specific statistics, but I'm sure that parents don't spend nearly as much time playing with their kids as they should. It's not necessarily because they don't want to be involved in their child's life, but some parents just don't have the time or they don't know how to interact with their child. I will admit that as I have gotten older, I have forgotten what types of games are engaging for young children. I'm also hesitant to play make-believe games with children because I don't know how they will react. I wonder if they will find it amusing or if they will just get bored and want to watch TV instead. All too often, it's easiest to just sit children down in front of the television and let them entertain themselves.
Parents should educate themselves on what types of play are appropriate for their child. Young children especially need to be exposed to play that allows them to express what they know and that helps them to learn new things. Interactive play gives parents the opportunity to provide their children with feedback, to develop attachment bonds, and to teach their children to think for themselves. There are so many important skills that children need to lead healthy, independent lifestyles, and play is one of the best ways for them to develop these skills.

Blog 9 - Young Childhood 4/7/09

I really liked Tuesday’s lecture on Young childhood. While the whole thing was interesting, the part I got the most out of was the information on autonomy and letting children do things for themselves and make their own decisions. When I have kids I want to make sure to look at the big picture and not freak out if they want to do something a little differently such as wear mismatching shoes. I’ll try to remember that it is how children learn and express themselves. That is more important for a 4 year old than having them look how society says they should 100% of the time. I will also let them explore and try things on their own. I really like the authoritative approach of giving choices to children within boundaries. That way they can develop autonomy while still remaining safe and healthy. I really hope to apply this information down the road, and share it with others as well.
-Acop

Parents with young children

The lecture on Tuesday was really good because I thought it was so interesting about children and play. When I was a child my mom let us play all the time and she let us do whatever we wanted. We were never able to watch that much TV growing up because we would always have to play instead. Playing was never a bad thing and me and my two siblings were so creative when we played together. We always climbed the tree in our back yard and made the second floor of our garage in to a playhouse, which we loved. We had a jungle gym that we practically ruined because we played on it so much and it was always the base when we played hide and go seek. I completely agree that children need to be allowed to play and be creative and use their brains. It seems like all children do now days are play video games and and watch TV. What happened to CREATIVITY?!!! I think parents really need to limit their children's chouch time and force them to go outside and play.

Class April 7, 2009

Today's class on families with young children made me think of something that i never really thought had a big importance to children. Play. It was really interesting for me to find out how much play really does for a child. I never really thought of play as a form of communication. It never really struck me like that, probably because when i was playing as a child, the last thing i was thinking about is what the function of play is, and i've never taken a family science class before so it was never communicated to me. But thinking back to the days where it was cool to dress up like a princess or a model, it does make sense that this is a form of communication. As a child, after you dressed up, you would go show off your fantastic outfit to your parents and they would ask you questions. Communication.

Another thing we talked about in class is what can be seen when watching children play. Someone brought up that it shows their personality. This could be difficult to prove because it's basically saying if a child plays like they are a thief that they are going to grow up and be a clepto or something. But they could also be playing house and portraying the role of the mother, which really is a good thing. I agree that play exhibits some signs of the child's personality, but only in certain circumstances. This lecture brought up some new things for me to think about, and that's a good thing for relating to families that have young children.

BCam

Becoming a Parent

Looking at all the negitive things women go through when having a child makes me think twice about wanting a bunch of children when I'm older. Women recieve twice as many responabilitys when they have children. Men have to go through a transaction also, but not like the women. Women change physically and emotionally. When couples have children, there relationship with eachother changes also. It takes alot of work to keep a happy marrage and stay sane in raising a child.

Transition into Parenting

Although I've always wanted to be a parent and have children, I have never really noticed all the negative aspects highlighted in informative resources and the media. Now that they've been pointed out, it does seem a bit odd to be that people are not completely turned off by the idea of raising a child. However, I too have a difficult time even considering the fact that having kids might not be worth it.

I think this is why mate selection is so important before having children. If you have a partner that supports and comforts you having a kid or anything else for that matter. Sharing and always having those second opinions of a partner will give you more piece of mind and also be there so you both can divide time to have both a family life and an outside life (or at least i think, ive never married or had kids)

I think if people also go through all the 'methods to strengthen your marriage during transition' they will realize if their relationship is strong enough and what they will need to work on. I know i will pay major attention to who i am with exactly before i have any children or anything that leads to them, haha.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict arises in every relationship whether it be a mother-daughter, father-son, or a friendship.  People argue over the big things and the small things... mainly the small things.  My best friend and I hardly ever fight.  In fact, I think we have had 3 whole fights in our entire relationship of 10 years. However, when we fight it is over the smallest stupidest things.  Conflict resolution may come in handy for my friend and I.  We need to just take a moment, and look at the 3rd side of the argument.  We need to compromise and be willing to admit the other is right.  This new information may really help our relationship :)

Conflict Resolution

I thought last Thursdays lecture on conflict resolution was one of the most important lectures we have had. When most people think about arguing, you think about getting it all out. When in reality most of the things people think about anger and conflict are myths. It's very important to remember that the process is way more important then the content. This is something I struggle with. Relationships in the past have probably gone sour because of the way we argued. When I argue, I always am thinking about what we are arguing about and what I want out of it. It sounds stubborn, because it is. I realized that conflict is something I need to work on, with the guy I have been seeing now he is very different than any other guy I have dated before. He knows how to argue in a healthy way and never says mean things that in the end he doesn't mean and he never raises his voice. I think that I can benefit from this and if we stay together our relationship would be very healthy. I also so think the steps for resolution is a good idea to have. At times when arguments come around, the people just blow up at each other. If you had a list somewhere in your house you can remember to go there and get it and follow the list, instead of just blowing up.

Conflict Resolution

On lecture last thursday when we talked about conflict resolution, I really enjoyed this lecture because it was able to show you on what a happy couple should look like when dealing with a conflict. I liked looking at the graph that was put up on the board because it was able to give myself a visual aid on how it should look, by going from like a 30 back to a zero when it is resolved for the whole week it did that. With my fiance and I we hardly tend to let things get worse if we have a argument we usually solve the situation as fast a we can that way there is no tension between us and we know how each other feel. We have known each other for 11 years and have dated for 2 years and we still find little things that we dont agree on but we are able to work things out in which i think it makes us stronger. So i really liked the graph because it felt that the way him and i handle our conflicts was the right way to do it.

conflict resolution

I was thinking about the topic of conflict resolution and how we learn these skills. None of us are born with this skill. Our families are where our lessions start. The family unit is supposed to educate us in the skills that we will need to function in our societies. If we are lucky, we actually will see our parents practice this in front of us, showing us that they can agree to disagree and show us how to compromise in a healthy manner. My folks never fought in front of us, but did insist that we 6 kids work out our differences verbally without yelling and without getting violent physically with each other. The ideal was that everybody came away with something that they wanted or needed. When I married my first husband, I did not realize that the way his family argued would affect our relationship so dramatically. They fought loud and hard. The whole idea was that there was a winner and a loser. I found myself just giving into what he wanted because I could not handle what I now feel was verbal abuse. I would do practically anything just to have peace in the home. When I was contemplating getting married the 2nd time, this was one area in looked into very carefully. I found that he felt like I do, that two people can sit down and discuss things calmly and reasonable with each other and find some middle ground that would work for both of us. Jim (therapist) told me that many times when he works with couples/families that are having problems with conflict resolution he has them act out their last fight in front of him and once he understand their system, then starts to show them why what they are doing is not working for them and teaches them different ways to go about it. It is much like what is said in class, that it is not the content but the process that is screwed up. As a future therapist, I would love to know how to teach teach families these skills. Just think how much better their lives could be and the lives of the generations that follow.

Never hold a grudge

The most helpful thing for me that we discussed about conflict resolution was the graph showing how a happy couple should deal with conflict. I vaguely remember hearing somewhere else that couples that have extreme fights are often relatively happier. This can be a little misleading, because it might make people think that letting anger out is a healthy way to deal with emotions. But like we said in class, aggression leads to aggression. Instead, the reason these couples are happier is because they bring the conflict out into the open and they quickly resolve the issue that is making them angry. I also wrote down in my notes that happy couples don't let anger linger.
I used to think that fighting was always destructive in relationships, but I think I would rather have deal with explosive arguments for a short period of time if I knew they would lead to conflict resolution shortly afterwards. I have noticed some of these patterns in my relationships with my friends. My best friend and I were roommates for a while, and everyone told us that it would ruin our friendship. While we did get into a few bad fights we are still best friends and possibly even closer than before. We didn't let the anger from a past argument linger once we were done fighting. I think it's important to remember that no relationship of any type is going to be free of disagreement, but you shouldn't let that bother you all of the time.

Like said before, I am not sure what to blog about since we had our exam on Tuesday. Thursdays lecture seems so far away to write anything worthwhile about. I feel the test was not too difficult.

Tueasday was our test so I am not sure what content to blog about. I was happy with the essay question that was chosen. It was one I felt confident answering. The thing I really enjoy about this class is the level of real life application it provides. The essay question asked how you would explain to a friend successful conflict resolution in a relationship. This was something that I can apply to my own life as well as a class. the main answer was it is process not content that is most important. I have been in many relationships where you get hung up on the content and it never ends well. Going forward I hope to apply some of the techniques discussed in this section to help me grow in relationships.

conflict resolution

I really liked the lecture last Thursday about conflict resolution. My fiance and I have great conflict resolution because we have been together for over 6 years. During those 6 years we have really learned how to have open and great communication and we have learned how to have healthy conflict resolution. Whenever we get into an argument we usually have the problem solved within 30 minutes from when the fight started because we can always work it out.