In the last review lecture, it was brought, up near the end of class, on how sibling relationships tend to throughout the life cycle. It was said that siblings are the closest early in life during childhood and later in life when it becomes time to take care of their parents. I found, (after completing my genogram), that my family also consistent with this same pattern. My Dad was the eldest of three sons, who were separated by many years in age.
They would fights as most boys do, but otherwise had a normal, close, sibling relationship. As they became older and individuals, they got into many disagreements and them formed tension, hostile relationships between each other.
It wasn't until last year, when my Grandmother, (their mother), was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, that my father and his brothers were forced together for a long period of time. Having to make decisions about my Grandmother, helped them to find common ground and relate to each other.
Even after her death in April, its clear that my father and his brothers still keep in close contact. I would hear conversations about decisions my uncle had made that were bad, but where he also learned a lot. Instead of my father judging them immediately, he seemed genuinely interested. My dad even let me go out to NYC to visit one of my uncles. Before this wouldn't of happened, because my dad didn't use to trust him.
After knowing this hostile relationship for much of my childhood, its really inspiring to see people coming back together. And being able to look past individual differences and support each other simply because we're family.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
After learning about the pattern of sibling relationships I started to see patterns in my family as well.
I see how siblings are close when they are younger and how they grow distant with marriage and children. I see this among my own parents.
My dad was always very close to his youngest sister and close with his older sister, considering the fact she lives in Connecticut. The three of them where a trio, but they never got along with the oldest brother. When their parents started getting sick, they all had to come together to figure out what they were going to do with them. They were close for several years until both of my grandparents died. After their deaths though, the siblings stayed close for a while, but as of now. The relationships are still the same as they were before their parents got ill.
My older sister and I were pretty close growing up, but as we got into high school, she became my worst enemy. It's as if she was my rival. Everything I did she would criticize and it was not in a nice way. Now that she has moved to Texas and we are growing up, she has tried to get closer to me. Although it is hard, because she still always adds her 2 cents in about me, I try to let things ride for my parents. I hope that as we grow older and have kids of our own, we will grow closer. But, like the model shows those are the times when siblings are most distant. Now that I see the cycle, I hope there is hope that I can make my sibling relationship different and try to remain close throughout our middle years.
Post a Comment