Putting yourself in the others shoes

While learning about conflict resolution, i thought the most important and under looked step of the 6, was 'find out what each person wants'. I feel like in American society today, the media does a good job of telling us that who ever we pick to love, shouldn't challenge us and should basically love you no matter what. I think this puts too much emphasis on self and not on teamwork.

My boyfriend and I, I feel, have very very good conflict resolution because we are not only able to see the others point of view but also empathize with each other. We are both very young, so its already difficult not to be limited or defined by our relationship. However, when he comes up to me with an Idea, such as going to Canada for spring break rather than coming home to visit me, I let him know I'm slightly disappointed but encourage him to try new things, like going on this trip regardless. I know it doesn't change the way he feels about me.

I still feel as if its important to focus on your own wants and needs in a relationship, however, the other person should be another 'lead actor' instead of a 'supporting role'. Being able to understand where the other person is coming from, especially in fights is the most important key of conflict resolution. Because if you can't put yourself in their shoes, you really don't know them that well at all.