Understanding influence in the marriage relationships

I especially found our topic about the principle of least interest very eye opening. I was married/divorced in my twenties. I can understand now how the dynamics became what they did. I have very strong religious beliefs about marriage and would do anything to make it work. Unfortunately, I now realize the he did not really care if the marriage succeeded, he definitely used reward influence tactics ( we would go see my family, an hour away from where we lived, only after he was able to get his way about how the next three weekend plans where what he wanted to happen) and coercive influence tactics (withholding physical contact and becoming cold when he did not get his way). I can see now how these tactics played a part in the building up of the resentment I was feeling and how I started counting up the inequities in our relationship. We definitely did not have good communication skills and there was a major influence struggle going on. Winning was important to him and in the end, we both lost. My present husband and I work hard to have what I would say is a referent influence practiced in our marriage. Our communication style is much more open and both of us want to show our love and respect to each other and seek ways to have a win-win outcome for both of us. This knowledge truly makes a lot of sense to me. Understanding these concepts will definitely help me better understand the dynamics in other peoples relationships and allow me to help my therapy clients in the future.